Funny SMS

→ Forward to you friends and get funny reply’s. . !
“imagine I am in jail
what you think that
What crime I had done”
Reply must. . .

→ Husband & wife are like liver and kidney.
Husband is liver & wife is kidney.
If liver fails, kidney fails.
If kidney fails, liver manages with other kidney.

→ Birds Birds in the sky dropped a pooty in my eye,
I don”t worry I don”t cry,
I”m just happy that cows can”t fly!

→ If I was an artist,
you would be my picture!
If I was a poet,
you would be my inspiration!
If I was an author you would be my story!

But I'm only a cartoonist!

→ It’s very easy
to eat sweet chocolate,
speak sweet words,
watch sweet dreams
but
It’s very difficult
to
find a sweet person.
but I salute you.
that you find me.

→ Boy: I am not rich like rohit, I don't even have a bid car like rohit. But I really love you!
Girl: I love you too, but tell me more about rohit..

→ Who said English is easy???
Fill in the blank with YES or No…
1.—–I dont have brain…
2.—–I dont have sence…
3.—–I am stupid….

→ Dream makes everything possible, Hope makes everything work, Luv makes everything beautiful, Smile makes all the above... So always Brush ur Teeth

→ What is similarity between Bill Gates and me?
Don’t know??
He never comes to my house
and I never go to his house
EGO PROBLEMS YOU KNOW…

→ Do u know similarity between Dinosaurs and Decent Girls?
Both don't exist.

→ Can we do romance in the evening today?
I’m in a good mood
Just a little bit of kissing and biting
reply me soon!
yours lovingly
“MOSQUITO”

→ A Love Letter from BISCUIT MAKER- Dear Marie, Today is Good Day, U r Anmol for me... But U have Crackjacked my Heart, Bcoz I have a Little Heart, Now I m in 50/50 position...

→ Teacher: Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun.
Everyone must attend it.
Raju: No! I will not be able to attend it.
Teacher: Why?
Raju: My mother will not allow me to go so far !!

→ Commerce professor asks the student: what is the most important source of finance for starting business?

Student: "Father in law".

→ World ’s shortest jokes:
2 Women sitting quietly!
2 pathan playing chess!
GirlFriend pays the bill.
Need more?!
U r so beautiful

→ An engineering student to his sweeper brother: I have got degree, I have got knowledge, I can sit in society. What do you have?
Sweeper: I have the job.

→ Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.

→ Calendar of Love
January = Rose
February = Propose
March = Gift
April = Lift
May = Chatting
June = Dating
July = Miss
August = Kiss
September = Marriage
October = Broke up
November = Rest
December = Next
Have a nice year ahead.

→ Beauty is not how you look, it is not how handsome u r, it is not ur figure too... Beauty is the inner self, so change ur underwear daily.

→ Power of Mathematics
One day a box wasn’t opening.
Lawyer came, applied all laws but it didn’t open
Chemist came, applied all reactions but it didn’t open
Physician came, applied all forces but no change
Even the biologist failed
mathematician came & said
.
.
.
Let’s Suppose the Box is Open

→ Man: Among my 4 sons 3 are engineer.
Friend: 4th?
Man: He didn’t study & became a barber.
Friend: Why don’t you throw him out?
Man: He is the only 1 who earns.

→ Always start your day with a lot of S E X
S-mile
E-nergy
X-citement
so make SEX a daily habit, & u'll always be SMILING!

→ Q: What did the gangster's son tell his dad when he failed his
examination?
A: Dad they questioned me for 3 hours but I never told them anything."

→ In the corridor of a government office
was a sign board reading
“Don’t make any noise.”
Someone added the following words
“Otherwise, we might wake up”

→ Several women appeared in court, each accusing the other of the trouble in the flat where they lived. The judge called for orderly testimony. "I'll hear the oldest first," he decreed. The case was closed for lack of evidence.

→ Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.
You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.

→ A boy came running in the kitchen,
Boy:Dad, There is an ugly monster at the door
Dad(Looking at his wife):
Tell him we have already got one!

→ Good news! A new way to send Romantic kiss to your girlfriend. Just call me and order your kiss. I will personally go and deliver it.

→ Mon to Sun, From Jan To Dec, From birth till my death, my feelings 4 u have never changed. For me, you've always been a headache!

→ Maths teacher asked JOHNY
“If u have 12 chocalate and u give 5 to DONA,
3 to ALICE and 4 to ROMA then wat will u get ?
JOHNY replied “Sir! 3 new girl friends”.

→ It's the sweetest thing to do. Do it the bed, on a sofa, in the bathroom or anywhere! U must never stop doing it. It's called Prayer! God bless ur naughty mind.

→ Guide: I welcome you all to Niagara Falls.
These are the world’s largest waterfalls
and the sound intensity of the waterfall is so high,
even 20 supersonic planes passing by can’t be heard.
Now may I request the ladies to keep quite
so that we can hear the Niagara Falls?

→ There is a sign in the toilet of the sex change clinic. It reads: We may never piss this way again.

→ A chines couple,
Mr Hua & Mrs Hua
got twin babies after marriage.
They named them, Jo-Hua , So-Hua.
Next year they got one more baby.
They named Ye-Kia-Hua

→ Gal: Do u have any sentimental love cards?
Shopkeeper: How about this card, it says 'To the only boy I ever loved'
Gal: Great! I want 10 of them.

→ Announcement in a university:
“Will the students who parked on the driveway, please move their cars…”
20 minutes later:
“Will the 200 students who went to move 9 cars please return to their respective classes…”

→ Hey friend remember that
without stupidity there can be no wisdom
& without ugliness there can be no beauty
so the world needs YOU after all!


→ Police arrested a drunkard & asked:
Where are you going?
Man: I’m going to listen lecture on ill effects of drinking.
Cop: Who’ll lecture at midnight ??
Man: My wife…

→ Do u remember the day we travelled in a car?
I put my dog out of the window,
u put ur face out,
then people started shouting
TWINS TWINS


→ A boy of 1st class to her teacher.
Do you like me?
Miss. So sweet.
Student: When should I sent my parents to your home?
Miss. Why?
Student: To talk about us.
Miss: What are you saying?
Student: For tuition.




→ Boy and girl of class 2 asked teacher:
“can kids of our age have kids?”

Teacher replied ” NO Never!!”

Boy said to girl :
“see i told you not to worry!!!!”.



→ A baby mosquito came back after its 1st fight.
Dad asked: how did u feel?
He replied: Dad it was wonderful.
Everyone was clapping for me
Moral: Take everything positively

→ Father: Your teacher says she finds it
Impossible to teach you anything!
Son: That’s why I say she’s no good!

→ Are you idiot?
Why you keep sending me SMS?
Who gave my number to you?
Never message me again.
Did I ever said that.
Than why don’t you sending SMS.




→ What is the difference between
Monkey & Donkey ?
Monkey saves this message
&
Donkey deletes this message.

Choice is urs……..:p


→ age of drinks;
1 to 3 milk
3 to 8 cerelac
9 to 13 horlicks
14 to 25 bear
26 to 40 whisky
41 to 60 tonic
after 60 anytime
“GANGA JAL

→ Q- What is the height of CONFIDENCE?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Ans- A 99 years old woman buying a SIM card with LIFE-TIME validity.

→ Who walks with us
through the difficult part of life?
Mon Dad?
No!
Husband Wife?
No!
Friends?
No!
One and only our slippers!!!!
So keep them safe

→ LOVE V/S EXAM
LOVE: lots of thoughts in mind but no guts to express
EXAMS: lots of guts to express but no thoughts in mind

→ One frog asked Astrologer: Please tell my future
Astrologer: A smart girl will touch you.
Frog: Great..! But when & where?
Astrologer: next semester in Zoology lab

→ A foreigner had very spicy Indian dinner.
Next morning he came out of the toilet & said,
now i understand Why indian use water.
Tissue Can catch fire…

→ Patient: Please don’t give me the injection.
I’m afraid of it’s pain.
Doctor: Don’t worry!!
I’ll inject you first that kills the pain!!!!

→ Son: The girl of our neighbors
don’t understand English.
Father: How do you know?
Son: I said to her “Give Me Sweet Kiss”
and she slapped me.

→ Funny Definitions
Home: A place where you can scratch where it itches.
Doctor: A person who cures the ills by pills, and kills by his bills.
Love: Loss Of Valuable Energy
Wife: Worries Invited For Ever

→ Mr.Bean got an Invitation for a Party,
They told him that he must put BROWN TIE only.
When he went to party he was shocked?
other were wearing pants & shirts also…

→ A typical student flips a coin and think.
If Head- will go to sleep.
If Tail- will watch a move.
If Stands- will listen music.
If Stays in air- will study

→ He+She= Love.
He+She+Love=Marriage.
He+She+Love+Marriage=Child.
He+She+Love+Marriage+Child=Family.
AND
He+She+Love+Marriage+Child+ Family=Problem.
So my dear friend
Be careful.

→ Hi all,
Let get stupid and Celeberate Miss call day
Send dis msg to ur frnds n get misbels in reply.
But reply me 1st

→ A student wrote a letter
to his father from hostel:
Dear dad…!
No money,No fun.
Your son!
His father replied:
Dear son!
So sad,Very bad
Your dad!